GO OBAMA!

it’s tuesday night in mysore, india and we have been talking about the elections all week.

i am taking a week-long intensive yoga workshop at a wonderful school, “atma vikasa.” (self-realization).  it’s mostly foreigners who have come from all over the world to study with this teacher. he is intense, and really combines the breathing and spiritual aspects of the practice. i am thankful to have found him and my new friends.

after our backbending class and bhijan (kirtan) session tonight, one of the americans from oklahoma, made fake ballots for the concerned citizens of the world.  we filled them out in a telephone box.  Obama won with a landslide!  we are all going over to another friend’s apartment after our asana class tomorrow morning to watch cnn. the whole world is watching and waiting!

i have settled into a wonderful life and rhythm. i am filled with calm and ease. i realized today, this is what i had hoped from the beginning. stillness, joy, and peace.  i moved into a wonderful apartment with a sunny balcony.  i am living with barbara, a german woman who had been working in vietnam for poverty alleviation, and orla, a fantastic artist from ireland.  we sang omm to cleanse the apartment today. it is a perfect situation.

in the morning, we see all the stars in the sky as we walk to the school at 5am.  the air is frigid. surprising for india. while we are focused on our asanas and our breathing, the sun wakes up and shines on us.  after class, we walk to a local tea stand, and we drink masala chais, lime juice, and fresh fruit shakes and just talk about our lives.  really enjoying each other’s company and journey.

8:45 is pranayama class.  it is basically meditation with focus on the breath. it is intense.

11am, we go back to the school, we pick up our wonderful yogic lunch, then head back to our apartment to eat on our balcony.

this afternoon, i took a delicious nap while reading paulo coehlo’s pilgrimmage, and woke up to see the palm trees swaying in the sunshine. just like the trees waved with the buddha’s breath on vulture peak.

what i am struck by, is the intense differences between the north and south of india.  when we were in bodghaya.  i would watch the school children walk to school.  their uniforms were always ratty, their backpacks, held together with safety pins because the zippers all broke.  very thin children.  i heard most children don’t go to school because their parents can’t afford it.

while we were there, i went to a local buddhist school with a few sangha members.  we visited maitreya elementary school.  my friend susanna had taught there for a couple of months and had told me wonderful things about the school. imagine, learning about compassion, courage, loving kindness, and how to handle difficult emotions when you are in kindergarden!! my friends and i went shopping for notebooks, pens, pencils, a cricket set, jumpropes. the notebooks were all handmade with recycled paper. similar to notebooks i saw in ghana.  we met the principal there, a canadian volutneering his time for 2 years.  he was so happy with the supplies. every little bit helps.  he showed off his newly built stove. up until then, every time they cooked, the whole school would be filled with smoke. in the north, people collect cow dung, make them into patties (with their hands) and burn it for fuel.

but here in mysore, it’s totally different.  its economy is fueled by the IT industry. people use charcoal or gas for fuel, no cow dung. even the notebooks are different. they are made of pure white sheets, and the quality of the cardboard is different. factory made.  the children wear spotless uniforms and are well fed.  some are even obese.

also, in the northern part of india, dogs roamed with cows and pigs in the streets. they seemlessly moved between mud huts and garbage.  here in mysore, there are pedigree dogs on leashes!

india just mirrors the larger disparities in this world.  same same everywhere.

i just can’t get use to people not coming up to me every second.  up north, people constantly accosted us for money, to practice their english.  it was incessant. here, people are used to foreigners, and a polite nod is they need.

tonight, i offered my yoga practice to a sick child and to obama.

blessings to everyone! GO OBAMA!

hj

i have arrived, i am home.

after an ATM nightmare last night, the universe finally opened her arms and i settled into her embrace. i have moved into a lovely apartment with 2 friends with a balcony!

i had decided i wanted to do an intense yoga session in mysore before heading back to the states. i was attached to the idea of focusing on my breath and body, to solidify the mindfulness practice that began to brew with the sangha on the pilgrimmage. the yoga teacher agreed to meet with me sunday night. he accepted me, which was fantastic. but i assumed they’d have a credit card maching. of course not, it’s india. so began my search for an atm machine…

but it doesn’t begin or end there. i had arrived 5 minutes late to our decided meeting time. other students were already there filling out forms. i had actually gotten there early. but decided to take a mindful walk in the park.. and lost track of time.

so i walked into the shala (center) and started beating myself up for being late. “i’m sure he thinks i’m a slacker. these americans…” so when i didn’t have the cash in hand, i felt retarded again. it was 5:46. i had to go to the bathroom. ( had visited the maharaja palace that afternoon and held in my pee because i couldn’t bear to use the public restroom) and i was supposed to meet my friend, barbara at 6pm (who had told me about the yoga center). i figured i had enough time to run to the ATM next door.

ATM didn’t work. walked across the street. it wouldn’t accept my card. asked the security guard. he directed me down the street. 4 ATMs later, i have no cash in hand, and beads of sweat down my face and back.

i ran back to the center, assumed the teacher would tell barbara i would be right back. it was dark out by then. 6:30. no money. no friend. i ended up giving him some US dollars i had in my secret money pouch for emergencies and panicked because he said he had seen my friend, but didn’t know she was waiting for me. he said if i had told him i was going to meet barbara, he would have told her.

and all the negative thoughts came out. it’s crazy what our minds will do. it spiraled out of control. it fed on the frenzy of my mind, and created this steel prison so i couldn’t get to the heart of the problem and find a solution. how i wish i had just stopped in my crazy, blinded search for an ATM. go back to my breathing, and think it through.

in the end, the teacher got in touch with my friend, explained what had happened, and i got into a rickshaw, feeling sorry and embarrassed to the teacher… as the search for a working ATM continued.

20 ATMs later and 2 hours later, i decided perhaps something was wrong wtih my card. i called my boyfriend in complete exhaustion and desperation. he gave me a halcyon of hope in that craziness. and i came back to myself, in that telephone booth, in my mysore.

i called my bank. they thought someone had stolen my card and was withdrawing money all over india. note to everyone traveling abroad: call your bank before you go!

i know it’s a long story. it just reminded me, how we live in our thoughts and opinions, which block us from really experiencing reality and finding the joy and miracles that are in every moment.

this whole fiasco also highlighted my issues with money. how i have difficulty spending money on myself. i hold onto every last bit, and at times, will not eat to save money. crazy, i know. (2 nights ago, i had wanted to move out of the luxury hotel i was staying at with my traveling buddies, ray and bruce. almost moved into a dilapidated budget motel with a poop stained squatter because it cost 180 rupees and i saw tibetan monks int he lobby).

i laughted it all out this morning, as i walked into the yoga center at 5am, with money in hand and an open heart. i saw my lovely friend, barbara’s smiling face this morning, and i knew, “i have arrived, i am home.”

the asana class was INTENSE! and the pranayama class was fantastic. focusing on the hand mudras opened my heart. afterwards, i opened my eyes, and saw the sunlight fall onto my right foot. suddenly, i saw my foot, with all its wrinkles on the heels, all the shadows, bones, muscles, and i started crying out of joy and love. i really saw my foot. my precious foot that has stood for me when i thought i couldn’t. and i was thankful to my right foot. (and the left foot didn’t get jealous! just like thay says!)

i am thankful to the mindfulness practice. even my crazy thoughts are a lesson and a joy. how this experience in india has been intense. thanks to the sangha, it has protected me so that i could see the root of my anxieties, my sufferings. and i was blessed, that the sangha continued with bruce and ray. we were a fantastic trio: bruce- a technology lawyer, ray- a quantum physicist, and me.

being in the southern part of india has been such a drastic change from the north. it’s like night and day.

for now, my days will be focused on following my breath, and nourishment from coconuts and bananas.

thanks to everyone who is working so hard on the elections. i am sending reiki to all.

blessings,

hyun jung

neither defiled nor immaculate…

after a 16 hour journey, we have emerged from the dark haze of patna, in the poorest state in india (bihar) and surfaced in the sunny southern city of mysore.  our 10 day retreat is over and i have a week and a half to continue learning from india. she has proven to be one of my greatest teachers.

patna was incredible. it is beyond description. after the end of the retreat my fellow sangha members and i had no definitive plans, so stayed in patna to figure out travel details and plane tickets.  on our free afternoon, i suggested we go to the famous sikh temple, down the road from our hotel (according to my guidebook). didn’t realize we would not see another western person or another word in english for hours. it took many non english speaking indians to communicate to the bicycle rickshaw driver to the autorickshaw driver, what our destination was.  it turned out to be an hour away, and we enterted the heart of old pana city.

we smelled the decaying carcass of a stray dog, saw the birds feasting on him. saw black pigs eating from the heaps of trash on the side of the road next to a graveyard for autorickshaws and cars. it looks like they were all burned to make sure there was nothing left to scavenge. the stench of urine and cow dung smoke clogged our throats the whole way as the driver weaved in and our of people, cows, children, things, bikes, life. the narrow streets of old patna were intact, as well the tiny shops. shoe fixers on the side of the road, tailors sewing sarees by oil lamp, herbal shops. i even saw a pharmacy. but no one begging.  it was a wonderful change from all the beggars we had constantly encountered at every stop of our pilgrimmage. people were just living thriving. there was chaos and happiness.children walking with their mother, buying sweets on the street, men going home from work. the incessant honkng is piercing.

the sikh temple itself was a haven from the chaos of the streets. was lovely to pay respects to the warriors of india. prasad was delicious. but we worried about the ride home.

on the way home, we could see the dense pollution of the city hoovr around the diwali lights. passed statues of hindu gods, pulled by donkeys and powered by generators on bicycles in celebration of the festival of lights. that was life. constantly, chaotically coordinated.

we were thankful when we arrived at our hotel. we had splurged after a 3 day stay in a hotel in rajgir that probably hadn’t seen people in years.  mold on the walls, frogs and gekkos living in our bathroom, and unflushable bugs.that’s right. they refused to be flushed, and kept crawling up towards warmth.

but by the end of our stay, i said thank you to the gekko for eating the bugs, thank you to the mountains for sharing their energy, and thank you to the bugs for bringing the life of india to our doorstep, bed, bathroom toilet.

india continues to teach me the wisdom of non-discrimnation. the beggars, the touts (english speaking men who want to be our friends for money), the bugs, do not discriminate between old, young,fat, pretty people. we are all part of the journey.

bodgaya was amazing. the mahabodhi temple, built over 2000 years ago had maintained its sanctity, blessed by people coming from all over the world. it was amazing witnessing people offering their purest intentions to pay respect to the buddha. the bodhi tree was thriving.

the highlight of rajgir,was watching the sunrise and sunset from vulture peak, with the sangha. the buddha loved vulture peak and delivered many famour sutras. i think one of them was the heart sutra.

i will continue writing, now that we have more time and access to internet. i hope everyone is happy, healthy and feeling free, where you are. this universe is expansive!

blessings,

hyun jung

the great ganges river

we woke up at 4am this morning, took a boat trip along the ganges to see the sunrise. sunrise is also the time hindus come out for ritual bathing, prayers, and laundry slapping against a huge stone. it was magnificent! seeing this ancient city come to life, was a joy and an honor.  the energy of the river was beautiful.  how she cleanses, and heals and renews…
 
yesterday was equally amazing.,. and filled with ups and downs. the down part was my tummy. i suffered the consequences of the dosa stand man. it reminded me how vomiting and diarrhea really tear up our bodies! it was a lesson in appreciating our bodies, and how sometimes we put toxins into it. i am thankful to my body today and careful of what i eat. i barely held it together for the dharma talk in the afternoon. i was shivering and feverish.  but the tears, sweat, and diarrhea, flowed through me, like the ganges…

our teacher gave a wonderful talk at deer park, which is the site of his first talk after gaining enlightenment. sitting there, feeling the energy of the sangha, made me feel like, i’ve been here before. we are always connected. then he said, “i have arrived. i am home.” and i started crying in relief, in realization, in happiness.  his dharma talk was eloquent. he laid out the 4 noble truths and the eight fold path.  his emphasis on the wisdom of non-discrimination struck me. how i make instantaneous judgments on people, things, myself.  they are all wrong perceptions that cut my experience of reality into fragments. they prevent me from seeing things as a whole, seeing myself, as a healthy, whole person.

then we did wonderful walking meditation around the ruins at dusk.  yes, we were really walking in the footsteps of the buddha! we ended up in a temple to pay respects. intense.

had another wonderful talk by thay about mindfulness in education at the tibetan institute of higher studeis.  he said, teachers should bring and energy of joy, mindfulness and enthusiasm.  most importantly, they must recognize and embrace their own suffering, so there is true understanding, love, compassion, and communication with their students. 

we move on to bodhgaya tomorrow. enlightenment, baby.

enjoy the comforts of home.

present moment, wonderful moment,

love,

hyun jung

cows and goats and police, oh my!

i woke up at 4am to the sound of a distant fog horn. i knew the ganges river was close by. people started sweeping and playing music by 4:30 and by 6am, kids were giggling, people were pissing and the world was waking.

after a 13 hour train ride from delhi to varanasi, i took the most refreshing shower last night. i appreciated the stable clay floor in the shower stall, the cool water dripping from above, and a smooth bed. with that water, rushing down my body, i think i finally started shedding my fear.

i was gripped  by fear, the night before my departure. i don’t know why i was so scared of traveling in india. i had traveled alone before, and always trusted the universe in a heart beat. i knew things would work out. perhaps i feared, my luck has run out. i didn’t prepare enough. i wasn’t good enough.

yup, those negative thoughts always find a way of creeping in when we’re falling down that hole. thank goodness with the practice of just coming back to my body and my breath, it has been manageable.  delhi was easy, compared to the varanasi train station, when i arrived at 10:40pm last night.

people were everywhere. just lying on the floor everywhere, next to cows, next to crickets, next to garbage. i don’t know where they were going or not going. i stood out like a sore thumb and just waited for the pick up guy from my budget hostel. i  had never been to happy to see an old man, with a white beard and a yellow t shirt.

we traveled by bike through the streets of varanasi. one of the holiest hindu and buddhist cities. the site of the golden temple ( i think dedicated to shiva) and sarnath, the site of buddha’s first dharma talk.  and yes, there are cows everywhere! eating the garbage, pooping, looking. yup. a cow totally slobbered over me today.

after waking up early this morning, i headed down to the ganges, and i can’t describe the feeling in my heart when the narrow alleys opened up to her wide arms. it was like seeing an old friend, i knew was always there. she was solid and free. it brought me to tears. the river continued to wash over me and rinse my fears.

i befriended a little girl who sat next to me while i was writing a post card to my boyfriend. she was trying to sell me postcards and we just started talking. surprisingly her english was good. she ended up showing me to a great dosa stand, ate on the side of the road and enjoyed it with da bomb lentil sauce. 10 rupees! she took me near the golden temple. paid a “priest” to get inside. the police were there, frisking everyone. apparently, someone had exploded a camera bomb a while back, so security is tight. people waiting in long lines, and the “priest”, the little girl, and i slid in between hundreds of pilgrims to give our respect to the gods. at the end, the “priest” told me to give an offering for the brahmins. asking for more and more money. as i bent down to touch my forehead to the stone sculpture, as he instructed me, the money was gone. man, that feeling of being taken for granted, just washed over me and stoked every ounce of remaining anger and fear. but this is religion, and god and i told myself to just let it go.  who knows where that money will go.

bought a book on hindu gods and found the post office, and this internet cubicle, a halcyon in this ancient city of cows, goddesses and rivers.

today, i meet up with the rest of the international sangha and start my mediation retreat with thich nhat hanh. it will be a blessing and i will continue letting go of fear, anger, and remind myself of the love, safety and sense of well-being i always have inside. (ever notice a stream of urine is like a stream of crystal clear mountain water?)

btw, the taj mahal was everything i could have imagined and more! built by a mogul in the 1600s, in the memory of his wife who died after giving birth to their 14th child. supposedly a woman of perisan origin, she was so beautiful, he mourned for 2 years after her death. he built the taj of white marble with inlaid semi-precious stones. marble all brought via elephants. 20,000 laborers worked for 22 years. after its completion, the mogul chopped off everyone’s hands so that they could never do it again. i don’t know if that part was true. but the taj is a mausoleum to a beautiful woman. saw lots of young couples on dates. was really romantic. unfortunately, the white marble is turning yellow because of pollution.

btw, and the luxury van was not so luxury.

blessings to you all. please be mindful of the comforts of home!

hj

day 1 in delhi

black boogers. yup, very similar to seoul, ho chi minh city, bangkok. the same black boogers you get after fighting dust, smog, motocycles and autoricksahws. there’s something very familiar about delhi. the street food, the people hanging out of buses, the noise.

i am staying at a beautiful apt, bed and breakfast in a suburb of delhi, shivaik. thanks to a great friend who made the recommendation, i love staying in someone’s home. they are very accomodating, have helped me with train reservations, and have a great black lab.  it’s the most luxurious way i’ve traveled. i’m used to traveling in hostels and common bathrooms, but i guess i decided i wanted to be comfortable. i deserve it.

i went to some beautiful sights. qutub minar, started construction in 1199. can’t imagine anything that old. seeing how islam has influenced india and how it has adapted to all the other religions. with time, it also incorporated hindu temple columns into it’s complex of mausoleums and mosques.

humayun’s tomb was magnificent and breath taking in its marble and sandstone wonder. a huge structure built by a widow for her mogul husband. (there’s also one for his barber because he had held a knife to his throat) it reminded me of santa croce in firenze (remember angi?). it houses over 100 people. with it’s prayer calls, you can see islam is still alive now, as it was then.

didn’t get a chance to see the red fort and jama masjid. my driver told me they were closed because of recent bomb blasts and fear of more violence. oh well. you get a sense of heightened security everywhere.

with jetlag i am fully exhausted after my first day in delhi. i love you all. taj mahal tomorrow, on a luxury van.

will post pictures and describe things more with time.  don’t want to take up too much time.

blessings,

hyun jung

Our America: my latest poem before the elections!

2008.9.15 our america

2 men battle for the soul of america

at a time undocumented immigrants

refuse to evacuate the path of hurricaine ike

because of fear of deportation

they risk their lives in cesspools of america’s unwanted feces

work the job americans toss to the sidelines

but vanish

when it comes to fair wages, equal rights

and free education for their children

wall street will always hold their heads

above high waters

as the government will never leave their sides

toss them lifesavers of forgiveness for their exploitation

of our colored peoples’ dreams of homes

surrounded by white picket fences

lawnmowers and Costco membership cards

there are people camping out in tents in the inland empire

under the cali desert sun

suffering the sins of america’s greed

there is no way out after eviction and debt

for the poor, the hungry, the miseducated

their children hang onto dreams of

starched marine suits

and army rifles hoping that

ak 47s will mean power

recognition by the US government

respect by other people

but most brown and black brothers realize

there is no one waiting for them on their return

when they lie in a bed

drenched with dreams of killing fields

kids defaced by shrapnel

as they get up on one leg

to put on their one slipper and look in the mirror

they too are america’s forgotten

the memory of violence and racism

never hold long

in the minds of policy makers

CEO executives

money blinded lobbyists

they make sure the politicians

are easily swayed by benjamins

and mascots with sexy high heels, lipstick and lingerie

distract the american public

with papaprrazzi shots of the latest hollywood superstar gossip

teenagers with vacuous eyes

stare endlessly at videogame projections

fill their tummies with hormone injected meat

quench their thirst with liquefied salt and honey

their bodies starved for easy microawaveable answers

to complicated questions like:

why has the US government systematically disenfranchised

black voters?

why do the poor and exploited and people of color always bear the burden of america’s excess desires?

who are our true heroes to attack the root causes of:

poverty

suffering

miseducation

disease

what is the nature of happiness?

the forests are burning

the streets are flooded

the trains are crashing

the planes are flying into buildings

the milk is spoiling

the children are starving

the earth is dying

what are we doing?

who are we becoming?