back from haiti

last night, i had a dream. gary coleman popped out of an elevator and asked me if i was lost and if i needed directions. i told him i was looking for the prom.  he told me how to get there in creole. i didn’t understand everything he said, but i got the gist.

i have been back from haiti, 2 days now, and i am going through serious withdrawl.  while we were there, we complained about the heat, but i would do anything to be back. i had never swam in my own sweat before. we were constantly soaked while we toiled in the emergency room. the stream of patients was constant once word got out, doctors were in the ER. but after a while, the sweat felt good, because we knew we were working harder than we had ever worked under tougher conditions than we had ever found.

haiti taught me that i am more than i thought i was. haiti taught me, with an open heart, i receive so much more than i give. even though we were surrounded by spoiled garbage, rubble, and chickens tied to a brick… we always found love and laughter. it is amazing, how much love there was at the hospital. it is a testament to the wonderful people i worked with. through unified for global healing, we were a team of 24 doctors, nurses, artists and social workers. and everyone went to haiti committed to service and compassion. and boy did that compassion flourish and thrive within a hospital, where patients survived on one meal a day.

back in the US, i see my car, the running water in my sink, the computer on my table, and i can’t believe the disparity in our lives.  i have never been so profoundly grateful for all my limbs. i am grateful for the food i eat. i am grateful for my parents who are still alive. i am grateful for my health. i have so much.

before i got on the plane for haiti, i sobbed at the airport. my husband held me and i cried uncontrollably. i wasn’t quite sure why. i realize now, i was overcome with fear. i had so much fear in my heart about haiti, but about everything in my life. my future, my job, my lack of relationship with my father.

but haiti helped put things in perspective. things will work out. my capacity is so much grander than i thought. i have the ability to take care of a 28 week preemie, a 4 year old boy seizing, and a 2 year old with severe hydrocephalus. haiti stretched me in ways i didn’t know i could bend. and boy did it show me i could laugh, and dance and sing, louder than i thought, under the full moon light.

mesi anpil a ayiti. thank you to unified for global healing. thanks to zola, sandy, and thea and the whole crew. you know who you are. mesi to the kids who won their way into my heart.

thanks mr. coleman.

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